One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
