hotel room ftw
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just high enough for therapy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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