It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
