I wish I could teleport
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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