Sponge bath it is.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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