found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
