I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
