i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
