You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
