she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
