I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
