woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize