I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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