i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
