I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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