ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
