I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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