Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I sprained my soul last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize