Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
