Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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