i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
