Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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