You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they're like a gay fantastic four
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
