3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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