He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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