You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
