Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just want nice things and good sex
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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