so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
