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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.

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• (805): View more from California

  No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF

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• (904): View more from Florida

  There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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• (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am

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