So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night