We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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