I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
