Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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