you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
