I bet he comes in French.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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