ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want nice things and good sex
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
