Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
