Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
