Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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