I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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