he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
