it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
