He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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