And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
