I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
