me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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