i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
