Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

(330): View more from Ohio

Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

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(214): View more from Texas

He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

whose oscar?

(203): View more from Connecticut

the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

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(614): View more from Ohio

i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

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(716): View more from New York

I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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(360): View more from Washington

Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday

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(281): View more from Texas

I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.

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