My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."