I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.