I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?