do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.