so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
