i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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