So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
