you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
