Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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