Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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