He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
