White coat. Heels.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He passed out mid-signature
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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