the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
