A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
