mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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