There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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