i barfeds in our rink
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Randomize
