Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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