i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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