Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
