okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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