She said her name was "party"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
