I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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