If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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