HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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