____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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